“Change has to do with
recognizing the value of options and with experiencing the fact that we are
fully responsible for what we choose to do.”
— Ernst G. Beier
Attacking the Problem
In this
stage you finally do it. But you need to remember that action isn’t the first
or the last step in a change.
This is
not the only stage where important changes happen. To get this far, you had to
change your awareness, your emotions, and your self-image as you moved from
each of the earlier stages to the next.
The goal in this stage is to change your way of thinking.
You do this by:
·
Learning how to relax when temptations are
strong.
·
Starting an exercise program.
·
Learning effective “countering”
techniques—thoughts and actions that keep you from falling into your old
patterns.
How to defeat daily temptations
Countering is one of the most effective techniques in the
cycle of self-change. It’s easier to promote the new behavior than to get rid
of the old one. Trying too hard to break a habit is usually a recipe for
failure. As long as you’re focused on trying to break the old habit, you’re like
a soldier who is fighting with one hand tied behind his back.
Focusing on your new behavior is like freeing the hand tied
behind your back. Suddenly you have more power to bring about the change you
desire. People who break bad habits frequently experience frustration in the
early stages, when they’re trying as hard as they can to eliminate the old
behavior.
In a very real sense, success comes when you stop trying. By focusing on your new
lifestyle, you stop trying to break the old habit; almost without being aware
of what’s happening, you move to the next stage as the new behavior replaces
the old one. When your preparation is good, you should be able to move through
the action stage very quickly. If you have laid the proper foundation, your
transition from stage 4 to stage 5 will be a smooth one.
You need a strategy to handle the daily temptations that
arise in this stage. One of the secrets to success is to stay active.
Our bodies are designed for activity. Ancient hunters lived
on a diet of red meats that were high in bad cholesterol and triglycerides, the
two most important factors in high blood pressure and heart disease. Yet
anthropologists have discovered that members of ancient hunting tribes did not
suffer from these diseases, due to the fact that they led such active
lifestyles.
The urges we feel when we light a cigarette, pour ourselves
a drink, go for an extra piece of cake, or drive to the mall are often physical
promptings of an entirely different nature. We think our body is telling us to
kick back and relax with a box of doughnuts when in reality our body is trying
to tell us to move.
By now you should be convinced of the crucial role of
exercise in your total lifestyle change. But you can’t exercise or go for a
walk all the time. So how do you fight temptation when you can’t exercise?
The answer is RSD: relaxation,
stretching, and deep breathing.
Relaxation: Smokers who say that they smoke
in order to relax are fooling themselves. Research shows conclusively that
nicotine and other chemicals in tobacco stimulate
brain cells. Smoking provides the opposite of relaxation—nicotine is a
stimulant. When you feel the urge to go back to your old habit, do something
that’s truly relaxing. Think about a beautiful day at the beach. Imagine you’re
floating in the water with the sun on your face. You can do this in just a few seconds.
It works every time.
Stretching: This is a great technique to use
at the office. I’m not talking about a 20-minute routine (although you should
stretch for at least 10 to 15 minutes every day). Anytime you feel temptation
strike, fight it by stretching for a few seconds. If you have just one minute,
that will defeat the temptation.
Deep breathing: This is done just like you do it
at the doctor’s office. Breathe in and breathe out. This technique works every
time. Try it right now. You’ll see what I mean.
By
keeping you in tune with the natural rhythm of your body, these three countering
techniques remind you that you don’t really want the chocolates after all.
Reward yourself
It’s important to reward yourself during this stage. Make
contracts that reward you for fulfilling your part of the agreement. Write down
the terms. As every lawyer knows, a contract is more binding when it’s on paper.
Your contract might say something like:
·
“For every pound I lose, I will put $___ (You
choose the dollar amount) into a savings account” (shopping account, weekend
getaway account, etc.)
·
“I will deposit $___ into my shopping account
for every 30 minutes I exercise.”
·
“I will make a donation to charity in the amount
of $___ for every pound I lose.”
Use your imagination. Whatever you’re trying to free
yourself from, rewarding yourself is a powerful motivator.
If you decide to make a donation to charity, your reward
will be immense. Losing unwanted weight as you donate money to a charity that
feeds hungry children will give you all the motivation you need to reach your
goal. You can make a tax-deductible donation to Feed the Children, a nonprofit organization based in Oklahoma City .
Ron Artest is one of the most gifted players in professional
basketball. Artest is also one of the NBA’s bad boys. He has a history of
violence, both on and off the basketball court. He has been fined by the NBA and
suspended from play for fighting with opponents on the court and, on one
occasion, with fans in the seats.
Ron’s bad temper has been his worst enemy throughout his NBA
career. His first team, the Indiana Pacers, has given up on him. He will be
playing with the Sacramento Kings in the 2007-2008 season.
In May of 2007, Artest was sentenced to twenty days in jail;
100 hours of community service; parenting and anger-management classes; and
three years of probation. His crime? Domestic violence and wife abuse, two very
bad habits.
In July of 2007, Ron participated in a Feed the Children
mission that delivered grain to famine-stricken regions in Africa .
He says that the mission trip gave him a new perspective on life. He called it
a life-changing experience. He plans to return to Kenya often.
I hope it’s true. I’m eager to see how Ron conducts himself
in the upcoming NBA season—on and off the court.
